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There's Something that i can't quite explain...

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Last Entry... Mar. 5th, 2005 @ 12:43 pm
Well as i regret to inform you that i am leaving el paso...and sorry to all those that i hurt...YOU SUCK!! ha ha
I moved but to xanga just go to www.xanga.com/YddiL
Aww I feel...: contentcontent

La La la... Feb. 23rd, 2005 @ 08:30 pm
::snore:: I am so tired and I don't know what to do I am so bored. I really really am tired and eww throw up came up and went back down. Im watching american idol. Oh some good news...I had an appointment with my english professor and it turns out that Im number 3 in her class. She said that I write really really well and that I am one of her strongest writers in her class. I thought that that was really really nice of her. The whole meeting she was basically praising me which is good. One of my friends from my university class showed me the dorm rooms at Utep they're really really nice. They're basically apartments which is DEFINITELY a lot more than what i can say for NMSU. They have huge bathrooms huge vanities. Their own kitchens and living rooms with a refrigerator and huge bedrooms. Maybe once ashley transfers we can opt to have either a dorm room or an apartment by school.
Aww I feel...: lazylazy
Singing in my Head...: Come Home Soon:ShE Daisy

Blah blah blah...the usual... Feb. 20th, 2005 @ 04:20 pm
Well yesterday I had class and then came home and fell asleep and did some cleaning then went to the OP to get stamped so we wouldn't have to pay more at the door. Then we went to Taco Cabana and ate and then went back to the OP and danced and danced. It was great, I love their music. We came home at about 200 and then woke up this morning and played in 2 games. Then I came home again and cleaned some more this is the interesting life of Lydia people!! Ha Ha god I need my own place a LOT more interesting stuff would happen. Tomorrow is 9 months with ashley and at 645 we're supposed to go to My sister's apartment and watch the L word. They're having a premire party well the parental units are calling. Laters Lyd
Aww I feel...: blahblah

So tired... Feb. 16th, 2005 @ 04:32 pm
There is nothing really to write about today. I had to take a quiz for Math but it was 2 questions that weren't that hard. Well anyway,I came home and had to wash my mouth out with that ugly gross stuff. Then Ashley and I went to KFC to eat lunch as we were driving out we heard a blow out poor baby her car broke down. Well yeah Im not going to further explain. Anywhoo...cindy is mad because I didn't go to the baby shower. To be completely honest I didn't go because i was in so much pain that I couldn't even walk around the house with out squirming in pain. So yeah she's really really pissed off at me. I thought she would be a little more sympathetic towards what happened but I guess not well thats all for now. TTYL!
Aww I feel...: sleepysleepy

Grrr.... Feb. 15th, 2005 @ 08:22 pm
Well ashley came over today and we made lunch I made the soup and she made the sandwhiches and we watched t.v. Unfortunately she left again and I was sad. She got her flowers today and I was happy that something finally went through for me. My cheek has been itching a lot maybe its because the swelling is going down. Hopefully its not the penicillin. God thats all I need is to have an allergic reaction to the penicillin. My dad gave me a purple single rose yesterday for valentine's and my mom gave me a Hershey bar because she had no time to get something from the store because of the ER situation. Debbie gave me a cup full on Peanut M&Ms but of course I couldn't eat them. I felt bad that I didn't get anything for anyone grr. that sucks. I fell asleep after watching the Grudge, most of it i didnt get but thats because I was falling asleep. I fell asleep and woke up at about 6 and ashley had been trying to call and call me but i wasn't answering so she was worried.
Other entries
» A Trip to The ER, and Valentine's Day
Well in the last entry on here i told you guys that I woke up and my whole cheek was swollen. Well it got worse and worse and on Saturday ashley's mom called me to tell me that they were going to have a dinner for her at 5. I had a game at 12 and 1 and woke up in tremendous pain during the night and ran to tell my mom. She told me to put one of her ice packs on it during the night. I woke up in the morning still in tremendous pain more swollen than ever. I took tylenol galore and I couldn't think it was just so painful. After the first game I ran over to my parents and started to cry because I was in so much pain, so my dad left to go get orajel. He came back and i was okay for like an hour and then after that I rushed home so that I could lay down with an ice pack. Everyone was asking me if i was okay but I sucked it up and told them that I was. I came home at about 3 and had to hurry to get ready because ashleys party was going to start at 4:30. My mom told me only to order soup because that it was just going to get worse as i ate. I couldn't smile I couldn't laugh and it hurt to talk. Plus I looked like a chipmunk. We ate and I was in a lot of pain again. Ashley got DDR2 and DDR mats so we went to her house to play. I didn't even want to play DDR which usually I am up for. I told them that I was sorry that I was going to go home because I was in wayyy to much pain to hold it in any longer. Ashley told me to call her when I got here so that she knew I was okay. I ran in the door and found my mom lying on her bed and I just kind of collapsed in front of her bed crying screaming that it hurt so bad. She started to yell at me so then she gave me a lot of pills and told me that if i needed it that she was going to give me one of my dad's extra severe painkillers. At the end she ended up giving me 3. that knocked me out for about 2 hours and then i woke up at 2 and I just couldn't take it anymore. I texted ashley to tell her that I was going to the ER and we left. It turns out I had an abses(?) on my upper jaw what i later found out is that it was a huge pocket of puss. They took a huge needle and drained it. I was in so much more pain after that. Im now taking Vicodin for the pain, it makes me drowsy so I can't go to school today or tomorrow. So yeah thats my adventure.
Today after I called ashley she came over. God I love her so much, she went to Albertson's and bought Ramen and sandwhich stuff and made me lunch and bought me Gatorade. I hadn't eaten anything and all of the pills were starting to affect me. she bought me this huge dog with a box of chocolates. After we ate and watched a movie she cuddled with me and it was great. Honestly I don't think that I could have asked for a better Valentine's Day. She made a day that was possibly one of the worst days of my life and made it all the better. I couldn't have asked for a better Valentine or a better person to share something like that with. God she's great.
» Ashley's birthday and School...
Today is my baby's birthday and she's an old fart now. She's 19!! and in 5 months I will be too lets start a countdown...
5 months and 1 day...
I am so sleepy. I had class again today for Biology. I was late. I took a quiz that I think that I did absolutely terrible on. Turned in my 5 page lab report. Did our microscope experiment. Tabi told me to change the magnification and as I bent down to look at what it was at and as I went down BAM!! I lost a lot of brain cells, I hit my head on the eye piece. My lab group was all laughing at me and I looked like a complete idiot (not denying that I am)
I can't believe that from now until the end of the semester I have to wake up early on Saturdays. gross...
I think that I will take a nap soon. Im sleepy. I ordered flowers for ashley for her birthday but her team checked out before they were delivered. SOOO...they're going to be delivered to her house on Tuesday.
I woke up yesterday and for some odd reason the whole right side of my face was swollen. I looked chinese. My fingers are so cold. WhAt ThE hElL iTs El PaSo??! its not supposed to be cold! well I better go now because Im going to catch some zzz's. Well talk to you later.
p.s. I've had a funny feeling these past few days that something in my life is going to go wrong just don't know what it is.
» What to talk about?!?
Let me see what is there to talk about. Everything is good right now, I don't really know what to write about. Besides the fact that I just choked on water man that hurt. I am going to be so freaking bored when ashley is out of town. I got really sad and down because well, thats my other half and she's not going to be around on the weekends. She is the reason that I wake up in the morning and am eager to go to school because I know that she is going to be seeing me that day. And i figure that everyday I go to school and do what i need to do it is one day closer to the weekend where i can get to see her all day and not worry about everything. Its tax season and I keep getting in trouble which really really really sucks, I just got bitched at right now. My parents are going crazy really i can't wait until i get out of this hell hole. I need to get a job, close to home and my mom won't let me get one in fast food so if someone knows of anywhere they are hiring please let me know.
» Extremely stressed...
So here are the events that happened this week. On monday ashley and I spent the whole day together and it was great. On Tuesday I was driving home and with my luck there was a checkpoint. The registration on my car had been expired since April! The thing is, is that my dad bought my car last May and the registration had been expiried since April, and the dealer didn't renew it before we bought it. Also, my dad had just given me my insurace card and I had thrown it on my desk and thought that I had put it in my glove box. So I got 2 citations, one of which can be dismissed but i don't know what I am going to do about the other one. Today was sooooo stressful. I had to get up at about 7 and went to UTEP to get my essay revised and then came home. I went to eat with ashley and then something embarrassing happened so I came home. I was getting ready for school when my professor called me and informed me that I had been dropped from all of my classes. Turns out that even after I had told the finacial aid people to send my financial aid over here they sent it to NMSU. So now, I have to fill out this form and for every class I have to get the department chair and the dean of that department to sign. So that is what I have to be doing tomorrow. I don't know when the offices hours are for some of them. So I'm going to have to check on that. Oh did I mention that I have to do all of this in 48 hours? Yeah...Ashley has a game tomorrow and I AM going to be there no matter what I have to do. That is why i am going early to go get 2 signatures tomorrow. I came home and my tooth that I need a root canal was hurting like a bitch so I took i don't know how many tylenol with codine. I don't remember I just felt the pills in my hand. By now my stomach is killing me and Im really sleepy and dizzy, and my head is really hurting. this is why I am stressed!!!!
» My Mom
My mom has porcelain skin, soft and gentle. Her hazel eyes stand out admist her short dyed black hair. When I was little she would kiss my boo boos and chase away the ghosts in my room. When I was sick she would rock me to sleep in the rocking chair my grandpa made for me before he died...its still in my room. She would sing to me as she would bathe me in the bathtub, and wrap me in a warm towel and tuck me into bed. When my sister and I were little she would read to us after she made us hot chocolate. Hot chocolate seemed to be the answer to everything. Even now, drinking it brings a warmth to my heart and makes all the boo boos of life fade away.
As I grew older and started to make my own decision in life, my mom was there to guide me and to encourage me. My mother has nothing to say about someone. During my softball games she would sit away from all the gossiping mothers. If she would sit with them the moment they would start to say something bad about someone she would move away. She would always tell me that she was my number one fan and that no matter how bad of a game that i had on the feild that she would never take it against me. She would always tell me that it was just a game, a lot like life. No matter how bad it gets you keep playing.
Senior year things took a turn for the worst. My mom woke up one morning and could not see out of her left eye. My whole family was guessing as to what it might be, something in her eye or something that was minor. Until the day of her optomitrist appointment no one knew what to say to her to comfort her feeling of what might be the worst. I came home from school and plopped down on the couch, only to hear the worst news in the world. My mom has a disease called multiple sclerosis. I knew what that meant. The literal term meaning "hardening of the nerves". As the disease progresses, all the nerves in her body will harden then shut down. Including eventually her brain. My life swirled around me like a whirlpool. I cried so many nights in a row. My hero, my heart healer, my boo boo healer. I can't heal her boo boo, like she did, or make hot chocolate and make the pain go away.
My mom was in the hospital a week before my high school graduation and was released the day before. She almost didn't make it to my graduation but she insisted to her doctor that she be there. She couldn't see all of my graduation but she did see me get my diploma. She missed my graduation party the weekend previously to my graduation. When I was little I'd lay in her lap and tell her that I wanted her bracelet. It was a gold bracelet with heart surrounding it. That day my sister told me that this box was from my mom. I opened it and on cotton was lying this silver bracelet, because i didn't like gold and was the exact same with hearts lying around it. My throat had a huge knot in it.
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